Did you know that The Langila volcano is one of the most active volcanoes in the Bismarck Arc of New Britain. Yep me neither until 8:30 pm tonight. Because that is the exact time my almost 12 year old son informed me that he had a “Volcano project” due TOMORROW! Honestly that’s about par for the course with this kid. It’s a damn good thing he’s cute, funny, and hugs me a lot.
So in a mad panic of me looking for tin foil and ketchup (lava) my son announces that the actual model part of the project was due today and was only for extra credit. All he has to do is a 5 page report WITH at least 5-6 different pictures of the volcano. To which I used a few words really good Moms don’t use…but I gave up that quest years ago. He tried to defend himself by a lot of sentences that started with “But my teacher didn’t tell us….”, “But the due date wasn’t clear….”,”I’m a little behind because I did 82 curl ups in PE and my abs hurt”. WHAT?
So if you’ve never heard of this volcano it is approximately the size of an anthill and it’s history dates back to the ancient old age of 2012. Literally. One. Picture. On. The. Internet. So we have to come up with five pages on a 2 year old volcano the size of my closet. Shoot me now. This is where good parents and kids should look away…copying and pasting from Wikipedia is NOT illegal. And perhaps using pictures of other more popular volcano/anthills that have more pictures on the Internet is a bit misleading but SHIT…it’s a hill with a hole in it that spits fire once in awhile. And before you judge…
Simultaneously to our 8:45 volcano fiasco my 13 year old daughter decides to rearrange her entire bedroom. We ask her not to. She does it anyway. I don’t know why I bother to interject discipline as these mini people seem to have minds of their own. Damn it.
In the process of dragging her forty year old antique like fragile trundle bed frame across the room on her own she broke it. Yep. Broke it. And it ain’t fixable. Now the head-end of the bed is sunk down three feet and the foot end is elevated. And she will be sleeping that way. Because ya know…bad Mom.
I’m sitting here now watching my son type approximately 3 words a minute so we should be in bed by 2:00ish I guess. Have I mentioned I haven’t had sugar in four days? I started the #21DayFix by Beachbody four days ago because I am a Beachbody coach and I guess I should practice what I preach and blah blah blah but I’d literally knock an old lady down for a Snicker bar right now.
So IF this blog entry gets published in the morning you’ll know we survived the night. It isn’t the first chaotic night we’ve had and I’d bet a Benjamin it won’t be the last. Here’s to average Moms everywhere. May your 3 hours of sleep tonight be peaceful.
And if there’s a God in Heaven Ill wake up and it will be Day #21 NOT Day #5