I’ll admit I’m a quitter. And I’m good at it. I love to start things. I’m so gung-ho when a project starts. All filled with excitement and enthusiasm for something new. If there’s a relay race to be won put me in the first leg. If we are stranded on an island full of cannibals and we have to take turns sleeping, trust me, you want me on the first watch. When I decide to paint something I love picking the color, the pretty new paint brushes and slopping the first few stripes of color on the wall to see the “new”. And then my husband knows he’ll be finishing that paint job alone. I get bored. Something newer and shinier and more exciting comes along. I am a starter. Not good at finishing. And I wondered why.
I hesitated joining Beachbody as a coach because my coach had built such a successful business and I had this fear I would bring her perfectly successful business all tumbling down when my enthusiasm inevitably waned after a certain time. I DID NOT want to be a disappointment. And there you have it. There’s a misconception about perfectionists that everything in their life looks and is perfect. There’s no clutter, no mess, no unfinished projects, nothing left undone. Everything is in it’s proper place. NOT TRUE. Perfectionists usually live in fear of not being perfect. That fear leads them (us) to not even start a project or finish it because they fear it won’t be good enough. It took me a long time to realize that being a perfectionist is waaaaay worse than just getting something done. Even if it’s sloppy or messy or not perfectly pretty.
And that includes my body and my business. Taking this whole leap of faith into working on my body and building a business has been terrifying for this quitter. I know I’ll never, ever have THE PERFECT body- whatever the hell that means these days. And I thought that if I wasn’t going to be perfect then what gave me the nerve to think I could “coach” or advise others on their own fitness journey? Also if I was going to build a business out of this and others were going to depend on me what if I wasn’t perfect at it? What if I made mistakes? FEAR. It’s all about fear of failure. And I think we all have it. Well, not Chihuahuas. Chihuahuas don’t have any fear. I guess it’s that whole Napolean complex thing. And good for them!
So I have accepted that I’m not a good finisher when I’m alone. I like the company of others. I do better on a team of people depending on me. I feel a responsibility to them to give my all and get the job done. I’m working on that, though. I think that I should be enough, that I should care about myself enough to finish a job FOR ME. Just for me. And I’m getting there. Hey I know I’m 41 but some of us are slow learners. And also- I’ve spoken to a few women this week who are starting on or are in the middle of their weight loss journeys. They have had or do have a lot of weight to lose. I tried to put myself in their shoes. They get up and push play on those videos and move. They cannot do all of the moves and it’s a struggle but they do it anyway. With soooo far to go in a journey I would get discouraged. I know I would. They are amazing and brave and inspirational and not quitters. So I won’t be either. I will be a Chihuahau! Even if it’s sloppy and not so pretty- I WILL GET IT DONE!