Some Summers

I don’t even know that its that I don’t like summer it’s just that I feel with each summer that passes a little more time is slipping by. Summer when I was young was my best friend, Christy and I swimming in her pool and sleeping late and staying up watching tv shows we were not supposed to watch. There were slumber parties and lots of sugar and prank calling boys on a phone with a cord attached to a wall.

In highschool summers meant more parties. Friends and driving and sneaking out and boys tapping on my window and John Hughes movies and cheer camp and toilet papering friends’ houses. It was freedom and staying up late and tanning and sun-in in my hair & Bon Jovi blaring.

I remember a few summers in college realizing how lonely summer can be. I was away at college in my apartment working my part time job and taking a few classes. Three hours from home. Up late studying in between going out and working and long nights at the football field with friends. But I remember thinking…summer will never be what it was.

There’s a funny thing that happens when you grow up. At some point you realize that for adults summer is no different than the rest of the year. You still have to go to work. There’s no sleeping in and no slumber parties and no “yay we are out of school for 3 months” feeling. And then you have kids….

When they are little there is no difference between summer and the rest of the year. But once you have school-aged kids its a game changer. You see in their eyes the excitement on the last day of school as they run out of that building like their life depends on it. Its a familiar look. And come mid July as you look at their lazy asses on your couch eating chips and complaining that they got up before noon you smile. Because you know. You know exactly that feeling. Summer. I think you have the right to enjoy the “nothingness”, the sleeping in, the un-healthy, crappy food, the sleepovers, the pool, the late night phone calls. Because that’s what summer is when you are young. And now as I realize 41 summers have gone by I look back on this one and smile….

I met some amazing people this summer. I have had some VERY amazing experiences. And I got to see summer the way I remember it through my children’s eyes. I complain about them and God knows Im ready for school to start but even cynical old me is a bit sad to see it all end. My kids will go to school everyday and then have soccer and cheer and homework and science projects and we will buy stupid candles we don’t need for a fundraiser for some crap we could have just paid for. We will sit through four thousand soccer games and cheer competitions and school concerts and video them all. And another year will pass. And they will be older and taller and smarter and one year closer to leaving. But in between will be one more summer.

And I will take a deep breathe and smile and maybe have a glass of wine or three and realize these fleeting days are all you get with them. Because despite their genes (or maybe because of them) they will fly away. They are meant to, you know. From the minute you bring them home all you do is prepare them to fly away. And all your hopes and dreams for them unfold in ways you hoped they would and maybe in some ways you didn’t. And it will all be ok. It’s just a cycle. I swear five minutes ago they were in diapers and I wasn’t sleeping and wondering why the hell I ever wanted kids. Today, as summer is nearing an end I look at them and they are people. And they make me laugh and scream and cry and frustrated and proud and nostalgic and mostly they make me remember what summer is all about. Here’s to the perfect end to a perfect summer…and enjoying every last minute of it. (5 days but who’s counting?)

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