Monthly Archives: September 2016

SOME THINGS I KNOW AT 44

I love my body now.
I love my family.
Time waits for no one.
Hiking solves everything.
The boy you think is everything in High School- you’ll forget his name.
Own a lawn chair.
Eat more chips & queso.
If you get the chance to move across the country- DO IT.
If you get the chance to move out of the country- DO IT.
Forget the new couch- go to Mexico.
Paint your nails RED more often.
If you get the opportunity to climb a mountain- CLIMB IT.
Start your own business.
Sleep really late on Sundays.
Bubble bath- every night.
Read more.
Be KIND.
Make time for friends…and then more time.
Stay up late talking to your teenagers.
Buy the expensive shoes.
Wear Cowboy boots as often as you can.
Keep your toenails painted.
Go to Vegas. Once.
Grades are not everything.
Be in nature.
Do very scary things as often as you can.
Eat weird food.
Introduce yourself first!
If you don’t want to do something- DON”T.
Know who YOU are. Just YOU. Not wife, Mom, fitness coach….YOU.
Play your music very loudly.
Critics are just jealous and lazy.
Stand up for people who can’t. Believe in something.
Mean girls end up with no fiends…don’t worry.
Forgive. FORGIVE…even when they don’t apologize. It may be hard. Do it anyway.
Forgiveness does NOT equal weakness.
Forgiveness does NOT equal forgetting.
Trust once. Trust twice. Don’t trust 3 times.
Nobody cares about your wrinkles or extra 5 pound- go out anyway.
Wear heels.
Buy nice jeans.
Taking selfies with no makeup on at 44 is awesome. Embrace it. You earned the wrinkles & age spots.
Leap before looking…often.
Own one AMAZING black dress.
Sing Karaoke. And make it “Don’t Stop Believing’” by Journey if at all possible.
Say YES.
Eat more tacos, drink more beer, keep your promises, ignore others’ opinions, eat dessert, exercise more, laugh more, travel more, do things for YOU. Love without expecting it in return, make people smile, buy a second house. And never never never edit yourself.
Life Goes On! Life Goes On.
fullsizerender-3
Advertisements

DREAM

The other day I was parked somewhere waiting on my kids- probably at the school about to pee on myself- and I caught a glimpse of this guy walking down the highway. He looked like he was in his late 20’s. He had a very large backpack on. The kind that carries all you would need to live. And I literally stared at him walking for quite a few minutes towards the mountains. And I said out loud “lucky dude”.

I used to live to go to the mall. Or Target. Or out to eat. I love make up and dressing up and heels and parties. I do. Still. But as Ive gotten older my dreams have changed and I think thats ok. I was doing a quick solo hike yesterday and so wished I could just hike all day everyday. There was a time I suppose my big dream was a big house on a lake and fancy furniture and a house that looked like a Pottery Barn magazine. It was a nice dream and there is nothing wrong with it at all. Its just if I could have my dream life right now, today….I would have a nice cabin on a mountain and every day I would eat breakfast, hike to the local Mom & Pop restaurant for lunch & a beer, hike another few hours and then go to the local dive bar for dinner, music and another beer. And thats it. That would be my day. Every day. with the occasional flight to Mexico for my beach fix. Thats it.
So funny. I was looking in my Senior Scrap book from High School since my reunion is next month. And under “where do you see yourself in 20 years” I wrote “in a house in Colorado”.
I love being around people. I love parties and events and girls’ nights out and concerts and all of that. I really really do. But I am absolutely my happiest in some hiking shoes and a hat 10,000 feet above sea level. And my youngest child is a Freshman in High School. And I have a growing business that I started that is giving a reality to that dream. I cannot believe it. I can’t. In four years I can go anywhere I want. Do anything I want to do. Live anywhere. And it is completely up to me. The beauty of this country is that you ABSOLUTELY can do anything you set your mind to. There is no limitation. If you feel stuck, smothered, trapped….then MOVE. MOVE. You are not a tree. You have legs and a brain and opportunities that millions in other countries don’t have. The ONLY thing limiting you is you. I limited myself for a long, long time. There was a plan on paper- 2.5 kids, house in the burbs, dog, nice retirement plan, yearly vacations. And again- there was absolutely nothing at all wrong with that dream. NOTHING.  But sometimes you can plan and plan and be set that the story will end a particular way…..and then life hands you some shit. Or some brain rot.
So dreams can evolve and change and  just like me they can grow. And a yearly vacation isn’t enough. You want to LIVE in a vacation. And maybe being a gypsy wandering around the mountains isn’t your dream. But its pretty damn cool you can dream whatever you want.
It is a good day to dream. It is a good day to start making that dream come true. It is a good day.
And being a gypsy sounds pretty cool! The things you find, discover and leave on mountain would amaze you. Its like every hike cleanses your soul. How cool it is to start fresh each day. My Dad would’ve loved that.

“I know he’d be a poorer man if he never saw an eagle fly”, John Denver ‘Rocky Mountain High’
6a26df487117abc835d877af827cfb2b

THERE’S A FEELING I GET WHEN I LOOK TO THE WEST & MY SPIRIT IS CRYING FOR LEAVING

I spent the morning in the passenger seat of my Jeep while Patrick drove us up Mt. Herman, down the backside and into a little town over the mountain called Woodland Park. We ate lunch, headed home and I had some time to think. No kids. I could smell people barbecuing and saw families out and just like a certain song or t-shirt can bring me back, that smell brings me home. To Texas home. So in this moment with my hands swinging out of the topless Jeep and me so happy I could cry because being on a mountain is freaking amazing- I was thinking of Texas. Or home. Or Dad. Or family. Or something.

It was just that smell. We used to BBQ on our back porch when I was little. And we’d most often spend long Holiday weekends at my grandparent’s lake house. On the boat, in the lake, skiing, sitting in lawn chairs late at night swatting mosquitos and taking sips of Dad’s beer. And that was home. HOME. And there are times I get a twinge of sadness for home. And I wonder if it’s Texas I miss or my Dad or my family or my youth or maybe just a little of each.
 I cannot express the happiness I have on a mountain. It is indescribable. I did not know until I was 40 years old that I belonged there. And I have guilt when I say Colorado feels like home. I feel like it upsets my Mom or makes me a “traitor” or whatever. But I cannot help it. I feel I have two homes. And I could not be more lucky for it. My roots, my history, my family, my youth, my heart is in Texas. And on Holiday weekends it is difficult. More so than regular days. Because my Mom, sister, nieces, brother and some friends are not here. I can’t run to their house for dinner, or go swimming or grab a beer in the driveway when stopping by a friend’s house there. I don’t hear the sound of 10 Harleys riding up the street as my Dad’s friends stop by to visit. I miss those things.
We were driving home today & there was THIS sign. A big old billboard for Coors. And I realized…Im never really far from home. I guess when I ask for a sign the Universe is pretty literal ;)-
I think that HOME is a word that can be felt in different ways. Home is a song, a feeling, a lawn chair. Home is a mountain you climb continuously. Home is old friends and new friends and wherever your kids are. Home is Coors and sweet tea and a ride in a Jeep. Home isn’t so much about a place. Its about the people that make it so.
I will forever be a Texas girl. Forever. But I cannot apologize that something called me. Called us. To drive west and plant my ass in the mountains. I have a peace I never knew I could feel. I have a calm and a sense of myself and am so very happy. I am a mountain girl. And thats ok. No apologies.
My heart is with those today that cannot be HOME. Whatever and wherever that is to them. And to the tough girls (and guys) who take the shitty hand they’re dealt and make the best out of it. Life isn’t meant to be lived in one place. Not for me anyway. Who knows where I’ll be in 10 years. And that is so damn cool.
I hope all of my friends…old and new, ones Ive spoken to recently and ones Ive lost touch with, ones who knew me and ones who know me…have had a wonderful Holiday weekend. Here’s to being HOME.
IMG_3211-1